PERF

Waking up to the sound of Colombia leaving me, i rubbed my eyes and gathered my thoughts before saying our goodbyes and going our separate ways.  I was up for a day of challenges and whatever the day threw at me so i dressed in my finest attire, jeans, t-shirt, jumper, and lace-less high tops, boy it were cold!  I took a chance and ended up taking the long way to the train station.

I got to the platform and the train approached so i jumped right on.  Two stops later i was in the thick of the action, Perth City!  As it turns out i had not purchased a ticket so mustering up every piece of athleticism in my body i hurdled the barrier much to the disgust of one citizen who shook his head at me.

I abandoned the train and head off to the busy streets of Perth, i wandered round with no real goal just soaking up the action, i was so hungry i could have stabbed a swan but instead chose to buy a baguette that went down an absolute treat, after some more wandering i finally stumbled upon Woolworths which took me ages to find, i could see the signs but the shop eluded me for at least 30 minutes, i stocked up on the essentials, Nutella, Pepsi Max and chicken wings.  The chicken wingshad an extremely strong smell but i wasn't finished with me shopping.

The weather permitted me to buy a hat so i hunted one down like a hound.  I found it in a lovely shop called Target which i believe is part of the same group as Asda.  I found a hat, not an ideal choice but a hat none the less and i knew it was good quality because if its Target branded you know its been Target tested.  Next up was a hooey which i had been after for a reasonable while, i fell into the welcoming arms of Jay Jays, i left my food by the door and tried on some clothes, i found one i liked and preceded to pay for it, handing money over to a lad i would assume was homosexual and also fancied me.  Back on the street was a dancer, he was around 50 and dressed in sparkly pink clothes, he was gesturing towards a group of children which lead me to believe he was in fact a predator of the child variety, the people filming him were, i would assume, undercover police building a case.

I don't know how but i managed to find my way back to the station and this time acknowledged the law and bought a ticket as jumping a barrier with 3 large bags would have been hard even by Adam Brett's high standards.  I took my position on the train standing as seats are for queers, while i stood there on walked an absolute AIIIII AIIIII, i tired my best to make the smallest bit of eye contact and eventually gave up and looked outside, i contemplated life before turning my attention back to the target only to get that much needed eye contact, i looked away again, gave it a while and eyeballed again only to find AIII AIII looking back again, i smiled she smiled and i arrived at my stop, 2 stops was not nearly enough time for us to get married.

I got back to the hostel, spoke to some German's only to find out they LOST to Italy, fans favourite banging in both goals with the second being straight out the Grant Topp book of finishing.  As i sat playing with my laptop one of the crouts with a guitar started playing a few notes, i recognised the tune and it hit me…. It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart, i looked at him and he stopped i urged him to carry on playing as i liked that song and he told me to sing, not one to outshine someone in their moment i modestly said "No you carry on" only for him to ruin the lyrics with his thick German accent, "It's amassing how hyew can spik krite to my hhheart".  Later on i gave up on the laptop and returned to my room only to hear ANOTHER guitar, why do hostels attract all these amateur musicians? Why do people think "I'm going travelling, clothes, shampoo, bag, other stuff, oh i nearly forgot the guitar!" It's not essential, its clumsy to carry, quite inconvenient to bring and could easily get damaged by heavy handed baggage people.  Anyway the point of the guitar was that he was playing a very familiar tune, another favourite of mind, Rise and Fall by Sting and Greg Davis.  The crouts have a very obscure taste in music but a good one it must be conceded.

Sadly my single room was quickly ruined by a man of Australian descent, i was a bit cheesed he was intruding but we struck up conversation pretty quickly and spent at least a VERY long hour discussing his profession, plumbing, and also travelling.  The good news is he is only here for one night so i can see the back of him tomorrow morning, the bad news is he is working tomorrow and is leaving at 6am so i will be rudely awoken, also he decided to eat crackers and as we all know crackers are impossible to eat quietly.

I spent the night listening to Russell Brand podcasts i just downloaded and laughed through the night whilst planning about what tomorrow shall involve.

Bed time arrived and matey boy finished up his movie watching and got into bed, i asked him if he wants me to turn the light off (as i am on top bunk i have no intention of turning the light off its more of a hint for them to do it) to which he replied no.  He was laying in bed i was prepared to go to sleep and he didn't want the light off for some reason which then became apparent, he told me he doesn't like the dark.  I was in shock, basically he was sugar coating the fact he was scared of the dark, he was 30 years old, only 2 people are allowed to be afraid of the dark and they are children and John Coffey.  He told me to turn it off when i hear him snore, which is all well and good but the bed creaks when you breathe so climbing down without a ladder to turn the light off then jumping back up is the equivalent of shaking him like a crying baby and throwing cold water over him, there is no way of doing it without waking him up.  Christ knows how he done it but he was asleep within minutes whereas i laid awake with the lightbulb burning my retinas just waiting for the morning to come so he would piss off.