We had an early start today and as is expected when you have to be up at half 8 i fell asleep around 4, waking up a mere 2 minutes before my alarm went off, i forgot about it and went to the toilet, then i had to rush to my phone to disable it as the sound of The Script - For The First Time blasted out. An odd choice for an alarm i know but im an unpredictable guy. We had the deadline of half 9 out the door so i swallowed down my last piece of toast at 9, i was ready for the day ahead, were you?
Around half 10 we finally got the troops together (all 3 of us) and jumped in the pussy wagon to head over to Fremantle or as its more commonly know, Freo, pronounced Frio, the Spanish word for cold. Now usually i would delight at the irony of such a name but today i would have been laughing in my own face, with my pants down and excrement dripping down my leg because today Helios turned the tables and was on our side for once gifting us an absolute peach of a day. The sun was out and the temperature reached the dizzying heights of "lukewarm".
We head out to the docks and took in the off season festivities of E Shed Markets, as its off season we didn't expect much, but we certainly expecting a little bit more than what was there, about 5 stalls were actually open, Watford Market looked like a bustling Metropolis compared to this ghost town. So before any of the spirits could get to us we drove off to the main shopping bit and had a walk round, i walked through another market and within seconds of entering i saw a girl sat behind a stall, i could only see her head and i thought "Wow she is stunning!" Obviously i diverted my path to take a closer look and as i rounded the corner i realised that this beautiful girl was nothing more than a dummy head used to display hair styles. I felt heartbroken but laughed out loud when i thought about having a relationship with her and taking her home to my parents, i don't even know why i'm referring to a dummy head as her.
I acquired some really naff souvenir crap, a wallet and a aboriginal boomerang with a stand which i thought would make a nice addition to the house. During my saunter through the stalls i noticed none other than manager extraordinaire Big Phil Scolari waiting for a Chinese massage, i made eye contact with him but he gave me a look that i interpreted as "Please don't tell anyone im here". Luckily for me the celeb-fest wasn't over! As i walked past a paella stand i bumped into James Brown waiting for a plate of paella, oh James even being dead cant stop you from tucking into your favourite Spanish dish!
I noticed a man that drew famous people in pencil and charcoal so i took a look and to be fair he was amazing, i took a liking to 2 of the pictures, a John Wayne one and also a Clint Eastwood picture, i thought these would be great presents for my Dad and Grandad respectively. The next bit i cant really explain my reasoning but i shall explain my actions, the man was in the middle of showing some kid how to draw so i crouched down next to him and for some reason which i don't know why i told him i owned a gallery in London and was really impressed with his work, i asked if he would be interested in shipping some pieces over for me to exhibit, obviously agreed and seemed quite excited, i asked if he had a business card, this is when he really let himself down, he opened his wallet which was full of crap and no money and rifled through the cobwebs and lumps of dust to retrieve a paper business card with a picture of him doing an artistic thoughtful pose and his mobile number. I was so unimpressed i thought twice about displaying his work and decided instead i would just purchase those 2 pictures instead and get them shipped home.
The live entertainment was provided by none other than Australia's Got Talent finalist, The Badpiper, a man that played bagpipes to rock music, he was very good and he had a very attractive woman trying to sell his CD's, i watched for a bit then left him to it as he mixed his genuine talent with some rehearsed humour. Why do people always feel the need to make people laugh? If you're good at playing bagpipes then play them don't try and do some stand up in between. I loved him though so he was in my mind a hero whatever action he undertook.
On the way back to the car one of the guys i was with stopped to go in a shop so i waited outside, it was here that i realised Fremantle's branch of Jay Jays had closed down, i was a bit gutted as its become my favourite Australian clothes shop and it reminds me of Mr Okocha. To drown my sorrows i went to buy a coke, i noticed there was a deal 2 for $6, only in this country can such unreasonable pricing me described as a deal. Nonetheless (what a great band, i wish they would reform) i bought 2 and went back to the bench to sit with my pal, during my sit an Aboriginal guy with a massive gold chain approached me and said "Any chance of a dollar?" instinctively i said "No i've got no change pal" before he said "True" like we had engaged in a game where he had to spot the lie, he failed at the first attempt because my new wallet was loaded full of change, WHAT A MUG!
I started laughing to myself at this point because i thought, if Jon was here i would have said "No sorry mate but ask him he's got loads of money".
We then went to a shopping centre called Hillary's for a browse and i bought nothing, it was a dead duck as far as shopping was concerned. Again i found myself browsing another art shop, some of the pieces were excellent so i asked the owner if she was interested in shipping for a display in England, she said yes and i walked away with ANOTHER business car, this one was so professional and informative i think it included every thing but her bra size, but they weren't big so i accepted the exclusion. I noticed a jumper selling for $350 which i thought was a bit steep for a standard jumper with no branding, then i was told the reason and i said "Ahhhhh" and tilted my head backwards in a way that said "How silly of me, of course thats why its so expensive". It was made out of possum fur. Possums, Australia's rat, i don't know why anyone would want to wear that crap but hey ho, this is bandit country. One thing i noticed that did annoy me today is this, on 2 occasions i saw a couple with the man wrapping his arm round the woman and the woman putting her hand in the mans back pocked, it looks awkward and its not a normal thing to do so stop it.
On the way back we took the coastal road and it started to cloud over, we passed an army barracks that had a massive poster saying "James Morrison here 7:30pm 18 August" i don't know if this is THE James Morrison but surely at this stage of his career he deserves a bit more than a battered old army barracks. We stopped for luncheon at something o'Grady's, an Irish place and i had burger and chips, in memory of Max and John then got back in the car and it started to piss down. Shortly after we arrived back at the house and we all got out, it was then that i realised this was my penultimate night. GASP.
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