Yesterday i had the house to myself for around 7 hours, i indulged myself in some piano playing and singing which really passed the time, i even danced about for a while which made me out of breathe. I then made a sandwich, cheese and onion, i've never cut an onion before and i was quite excited at being made to cry, i hacked in to the onion like it had treated me badly. Nothing.
This is when i remembered i was invincible and nothing effects me, i carried on cutting until my nose started to run, i thought how peculiar this was as i didn't have a cold or any other ailments, odd. Just then my eye started itching, it was happening! Within seconds i was overcome with emotion, happiness but also a desire to escape the deadly onion. I carried on cutting then made my sandwich before parking myself in front of the TV to watch a film called Bolt about a dog, it was quite good. After this i decided to tune into the infomercial channel. I love these channels as they are always cheesy and provide a standard of acting so wooden i was expecting a man with a chainsaw to come into shot and fell them.
In particular i urge you all to go onto YouTube and look at the Magic Bullet advert, its so cheesy Peter Rugman would have broke out in a sweat watching it.
Up next was one of those miracle workers, the televangelists. I watched a black preacher channel God himself through his body and knock fellow Christians over with a slight touch, it truly was amazing. Not only this but he was curing people of problems, i was starting to think maybe Bruce Almighty was right and God was black, i laughed at the time but after watching this channel i feel foolish for my past actions. One lady was cured of a heart problem (I'm not sure if she was cured or not because i didn't see evidence of a problem before or after the incident but i was willing to trust him, he was black after all).
Just when i thought he couldn't get any better he cured a lady in a wheelchair of whatever situation she was in, needless to say she was up and practically dancing within seconds of his miraculous touch, my jaw was on the floor i couldn't believe what i was seeing my impressed levels had hit impossible highs, but then something even better. A lady was lead to the man, she clearly had 2 glass eyes or some sort of sight problem, turns out she was blind, you can see where this is going. He reached up and held her head, oh yeah did i mention she was deaf as well? Within 10 seconds of some noise coming from his mouth she turned round to her crying family and embraced them one by one before engaging in conversation, not important conversation you would expect from someone had been deaf for a long time and had loads to catch up on, no this could be described as mindless small talk. After that last spectacle it cut to him asking for donations, how typical, i reached for my wallet i was willing to empty my bank and provide this man with a nice comfortable life but just at this point i come back to reality and laughed at the very idea of religion. What a farce! And that was the last meaningful event of the day.
In answer to the questioning title, yes. This i regret to say ladies and gentlemen is Monday 16th July, or as its known in my brain, the beginning of my return. The beginning of the end in some respects.
Over the last few days i have been questioning wether the timing of my return to England is right and am i arriving prematurely, i would have to say it possibly is but then why break the habit of a lifetime.
I packed my bags a whole 2 days before my actual departure as i have realised how important being prepared is, and it gave me more relaxation time on the day. So here i am, you will notice this is being written in the present tense as this is actually sort of a live blog entry not just a standard recollection of the previous day/s.
It is now 2pm and i leave for the airport at 9pm so i am 7 small hours away from my first flight, Perth to Melbourne at 23:50, after that its Mel B to Singer-Poor (how clever i am for such a play on words to describe her as a bad singer) at 15:45 then off from Singapore at 23:30 for my climactic return to England where i shall be greeted with the sight of my mother's lovely round head, the moon will never shine so bright as when i return.
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