I arrived in Secret Harbour wondering why the place had been given such a scandalously deceptive name, we didn't have to go through a cave hidden in a mountain, an underground bunker or look over our shoulder when we entered we just drove in. There really is nothing secret about the place its quite open. The houses are lovely and it is perfectly situated between Mandurah to the south and Fremantle to the north. It is also filled with English people, i haven't seen one Australian living round here.
Stupidly and much to my disgust, it is the middle of winter and freezing. I blame Jon for this as he should have known about this when booking the trip, how he could have let me jump head first into the life threatening temperatures of Perth are a mystery but he needs a good punch to justify his actions.
I was showed round some of the local attractions and the shopping places around us and was even treated to days out at Pinjaara and Dwellingup before on my 5th day Alan was struck down with an illness that would even take down a fully grown elephant but he is struggling through it. I have started reading a good book and there is other things to occupy my mind, i keep getting lost when i cycle to the shops but i will get the hang of the 5 minute journey eventually.
On saturday i was invited to a gathering around a neighbours house to celebrate 2 of the couples gaining Australian citizenship, i didn't know anyone and i anticipated an awkward night, to start off with i hung around conversations waiting for a break, i had some small talk then was dragged off by a man to take part in karaoke, naturally i didn't want to be unearthed as the rough diamond i am so i let others have a go, which was the only option as one man must have had the microphone nailed to his hand as he didn't get off it all night as he murdered classics by S Club 7 and the Osmonds. Instead i was engaged in conversation with an Irish woman from Cambridge and a filthy Northerner from near Sheffield, she didn't give an exact location which makes me think i may have come across as the type that would hunt her down, of course thats not what im really like. There was an outside fire so i parked myself by that and was quickly joined by northerner i shall refer to as Julia, as that was her name, she had a hot dog she had half eaten and tried to force feed me the rest, i politely declined before ramming it in her mouth, she ate a bit more then tried to put the last bit, the size of a grape, on the table. I noticed this and grabbed her arm before turning it round and making her eat is as i HATE people that leave such stupid amounts.
My other side remained empty until a young lady named Maddie joined me, she looked at least 16 but just to make sure i slipped into conversation a question about her age, she replied she had just turned 13. For around 15 minutes she flirted with me in a way that only a young girl can, naturally i was immune to her advances and only replied to be polite, im not the sort of person to ignore someone, unless that someone is Jon. Alan even discreetly mouthed to me "She's 13", as if i was in the middle of a chat up session, i laughed and reassured him im not flirting with her. The end of the night came and we all kissed and shook hands (i waved at the 13 year old just for the record, i thought even a hand shake was too much contact and could end in a court case).
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