The next day we set out for some elephant action, we were picked up 30 mins late by a driver who ran straight in through reception and into the toilet in a somewhat comical fashion, the drivers oddness didn't stop there he took an instant liking to Jack which became rather weird at times, we were greeted by Thailand's Brad Pitt who was our guide for the day and set off on our journey, on the way the driver asked Jack if he liked music, Jack responded in the the affirmative and the driver proceed to take a lucky dip into his cd collection and put one on, before it had a chance to load Jack jokingly questioned "Lady Gaga?" as Thailand seems to have an unhealthy obsession with the pop princess.
We all burst into laughter as the intro to Poker Face started to play.
We made several stops along the way, one into a shooting range to buy some bullets, I fancied having a quick go on the range as I was once quoted by a Hertfordshire shooting coach to be "one of the most naturally gifted shots I've seen" high praise indeed. We had elephant fun and we had Christina a 21 year old heavily pregnant old girl, I built up instant rapport with the beast and was always in control when I was atop the animal, at half way Max had his turn to drive and madness erupted, I've never seen someone so incompetent at basic control of a 3 tonne animal, I had to control the animal from the back using my knowledge of the Thai language. We bathed them aswell in a shitty river full of mud and other disgusting stuff, I hated how dirty it was and didn't want to be in there.
That evening we got back, showered and had a nap before heading out for eats, Me and Jack had the "when in Rome" mentality and ordered Thai green curry, it was more than predictable when Max and Jon ordered burger and chips. We hit the bars and one quick point of mention is as we passed a bar some ladies came out an threw the compliments our way, the humour came when Jon told us all she called him handsome and said she wanted to be his wife for the night, only 48 hours earlier we had mocked him about falling for it and i even wrote about it in the previous blog. We found a place where we were getting ample attention, obviously for our good looks not for the fact the we're western and represented desperation and money.
We all took on different names for the evening, Max became Dave, Jack was Bruce, Grant became Bob and Jon became Jon (the following day Jon complained about not being given a name, although he would have probably moaned if we had given him one anyway) The local pig had grown attached to Jack, and Jon was engaged in idle conversation, Me and Max were discussion songs to get the club pumping. Closing time was a respectable 12am, outside the bar Bruce was pressured into eating cricket, the Yank that gave it to him said "don't think about it" straight after those words Bruce was bent over being violently sick in the street. We carried on into the night, met some locals and had a great night, highlights include Max knocking a table full of drinks over in a club, Max disappearing, Jon, and just generally #winning.
One cause of concern over the last week have been Jon's sanity, he started off getting basic things wrong and not hearing things, it's now grown to paranoia and he even accused me of holding back information about Max's disappearance, we all hope he returns to his normal self because it's unsettling the rest of us. Quotes of the day goes to Max for this little line during an discussion with Jon "I think you've gone nuts mate, I would say nuts but you'll probably be allergic"and Jon for this laugh out loud moment, in his typical serious manner he describes the way the malaria tablets have made him have thoughts and no energy "I've been laying here for the last 2 hours just thinking, I thought great I've got the room to myself il have a wank but iv not even got the energy to do that".
Currently we are laying about waiting for 6pm when we get aboard a bus for 16 hours to Laos, we have set aside 32 hours as we know first hand what transport is like in this part of the world. Next up is tubing and general sight seeing.
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