We decided we would go see the waterfall today as that's the main attraction round this part of Laos, firstly though I had to purchase a pair of flip flops as my previous pair disintegrated in water. I approached the seller and realised straight away there wasn't a pair big enough but carried on purchasing the biggest pair anyway, I was quoted 20,000 kip which is a disgustingly overpriced £2, I gasped and said 10,000, clearly the seller had never been exposed to haggling before as he refused to budge, I decided to play nice guy and meet him down the middle at 15k, again he refused so I parted with my £2 and walked off in disgust.
Breakfast was next on the agenda and we found the costliest place around to eat, I sampled a local dish while everyone else had a bacon sandwich, every item of food in Laos seems to be served with a baguette which seems a bit odd. We then found a tuk tuk of stature and were told 50,000 kip each, £5 if you hadnt already worked it out, if you had then you are already more accustomed to Laos currency than Max. I decided to try and regain some pride and told him a man down the road quoted 30k, he said no its only 50k, clutching at straws I tried 40 and needless to say we got on that tuk tuk after parting with 50k each, I felt humiliated.
After a generous 40 minute drive during which we were offered cannabis (which we obviously refused) we arrived at the destination, as we walked to the entrance we were collared into paying 20,000 each just to see a waterfall!!! It was a scandalous case of profiteering that we could do nothing about. We walked through the entrance and immediately the price seemed more justified when we were greeted with a bear rescue centre, on display were many bears of the Asiatic and Sun variety, typical tourist hotspot I felt disgusted the bears were being looked at like a cheap strip show so I took a few pictures and carried on walking.
We walked along the body of water taking regular stops at the pools and snapping away at the beautiful scenery, it really was amazing and pictures won't do it justice you have to go see it, we came across the swimming bit and the guys went in for a quick dip while I took a few more pics and looked after the bags (NEVER TRUST A FOREIGNER). After all the mini falls and blue pools we arrived at the showpiece, a mighty cascade of transcendent natural beauty. We spent some time photographing the different angles of the waterfall before noticing a sign saying "to the top" I personally warned the group it wouldn't be worth it as iv climbed many waterfalls in my life and always found the top to be a waste of time, still they ignored me and led by clumsy Max we climbed an almost impossible angle, there were carcasses of dead mountain goats around us as even they couldn't cope with the slippery and uncertain terrain. After around 15 minutes of gruelling walking/climbing, we arrived at the top, nothing more than a small river leading up to the edge which was covered in trees so you couldn't see anything anyway, I chose not to say anything and be the "know it all" as that's not in my character but i had a smile that said more words than I ever could.
We started the descent and warned everyone along the way it wasn't worth going up to the top, most people obviously followed the rule of Never Trust A Foreigner as they all continued past us anyway, I nearly fell over and it was almost vertical in places but we made it down safe and sound. We made our way back and purchased some battered bananas on the way, they are a local delicacy that I have taken a fancy to. Once again our driver offered us drugs which we again declined as we are too wise for their silly scams, as soon as we said yes we would be shot and raped by the police who are hiding nearby. We got in the tuk tuk and began our journey back, during which Jon made friends with a bug, I had a giant bee thing land on me which I photographed instead of panicking, a butterfly/bat attacked Jack and Max was nearly eaten by the thing on my leg. After a while we encountered some dangerous water buffalo in the road, instead of slowing down like he did with cows he sped up and clipped the tail of one, obviously cows are friends in this Buddhist country whereas Buffalo are nothing more than scum. We left our driver friend who predictably offered us drugs again before we walked off to find an ATM then a beverage bar, we all thoroughly enjoyed our meal overlooking the rough waters of mystery river while being served by quite possibly the campest man in Laos, we all think he fancied Jon but it was never confirmed.
We finished up and left back for the hotel for team rest, we pulled ourselves together and went to collect our clothes from reception which we had dropped off earlier to be washed and were told to collect them "this afternoon" we thought by late evening they had more than enough time, not so, Jon had placed ALL his clothes in to be washed and the man said they would be ready tomorrow, Jon said he had no clothes left so the man literally laughed in his face, we all laughed but Jon found it less than humourous and looked angry. We prepared ourselves and during dressing time for Me and Max, Jack knocked on our door in nothing less than a towel with shampoo in his hair claiming he needed to use our shower as his water had stopped working, the hotel was really pulling out all the stops to make us hate it.
We went out and booked our bus and train which ended up costing us around £70, they were laughing at us, it was embarrassing handing over the money knowing I'm being ripped off. Next we were off for eats at a quaint little pizza place, I had an onion pizza because I felt risky and ordered for everyone else as I'm fluent in Italian, we all took the continental approach and had pizza whereas Jon really immersed himself in the local culture and ordered chicken and chips. We hurried our meal after being watched like a hungry hawk by our waiter and left for evening drinks at our favourite Belgian bar where we had been given some free drink tokens the previous night. On the way we were sidetracked by a place that had music, which apparently automatically means it has atmosphere, I said no its not worth it lets just get to our local, once again I was ignored and we sat down. I don't know which idiot was in charge but we were designated a waiter who couldn't speak a word of English, everyone was in disbelief when he clearly didn't understand English written or spoken and copied the letters out of the menu exactly how they appeared, i confirmed we had ordered the right stuff by conversing to the waiter in Laos, luckily i knew enough of the language to sort the drinks, as predicted we received our drinks correctly.
We went to another bar which had the most outrageous seating, we may aswell have been sitting on other peoples laps along with comparatively small drinks at the same price as everywhere else. We headed back and went to sleep ready for our early start tomorrow to make that HUGE journey. We awoke the next day and as I opened my door I saw a woman sorting clothes in no particular order, knowing it was news that could potentially make Jons day I left my room and rushed to tell him, he look relieved and once again stated he had no clothes, I should mention Jon had been wearing the same blue vest and shorts combination for 2 days now, along with his blue glasses he had started to resemble a smurf. Jon had become something of a nervous wreck waiting for this clothes to turn up and after watching her sort them I would be surprised if she knew who's clothes were who's. Jon came in beaming minutes later claiming he had received his clothes, we were all happy for him so I casually went out and collected mine with no worries. We set off for the bus joined by some crouts and boarded the bus. The journey was shit with no real points of interest except I had no underwear on for the whole day, 11 hours later we arrived in Viantiane.
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