5.15am sharp the alarm went off, we couldn't believe the night had gone so quick, in true Dudley Fisher style we were left questioning the honesty of the clocks. I had a shower because I'm hygienic, everyone else decided showering was not of high importance, I don't blame them, for some reason our bathroom stinks of piss, naturally i have been blamed and Jon even said that I must be pissing on the floor because I spend the most time in there, quite where the correlation between time spent in room and desire to urinate on the floor comes from I'm unsure but apparently there is one. We packed our stuff and went down to reception where we to be picked up at 6am, but not before a hotel worker had checked our minibar and rang reception to tell them we had used it, that grass cost us around 500 baht. Around 6.25am a small bus picked us up and took us to a larger vehicle, we piled on the new bus, the nationality of the people on there was unsure but my crout-o-meter went mad so I'm assuming it was infested with Germans, one of the happy sausage munchers looked like fans favourite and head of the Paul household, Terry Paul, i contemplated a picture but decided it would be too awkward.
We took a short journey to the boat place and after a lot of hassle and uncertainty we climbed aboard the ever reliable Thai Boat, i wasn't sure if the lower deck was full of people or sardines but it was heaving so we went to the upper deck to take it the sights of the Thai islands. It was a lot of the same really, alot of water (which is actually a fascinating compound, I watched a documentary about water the other day) some trees on islands and people on boats. We dropped some people off on Koh Samui and gained some more people. We finally arrived at mystery dock and we all escaped the hellish conditions of the boat and the term "out of the frying pan into the fire" came to mind when we imbed aboard a bus that was extremely small, I ended up sitting next to a stranger and every time I fell asleep my knee hit her and I woke up so I had to stay awake incase I ended up bruising her and I got a reputation of woman beater, which I wouldn't want to take away from our very own genuine woman beater Max Walters.
After a seemingly short 1 hour journey we arrived at an unnecessary stop off where we were allowed to eat and use the toilet, we waited around for ages before the drivers decided to pile us all back on the buses we had just come from, this time we sat near each other and endured a long journey of a timescale which was longer than promised. We arrived at destination and found our boat, in traditional Asian fashion it was packed out and I was even worried for the buoyancy of the ship. We sat along the side to take in some more sights and also some sun rays which felt like it was burning me alive, the sun is rather hot here. I decided to catch up on a bit of sleep so laid down and tried to hide from the sun. Getting off the boat was a nightmare it was a free for all, only one way in and off the boat I decided to show some English grit and jumped over a fence to retrieve my bag, I also heroically got Max's for him. Mac I gratefully wandered off and I was left with Jon, I decided to get away from the rat race while Jon "Loves a Queue" Hubbard waited for a written invitation before he chose to get on the boat and look for his bag. I walked up to find clumsy Max had fallen into the sea while we had our backs turned as he was soaked from head to toe, his forehead was especially damp.
Jon regrouped and we left the pier, but only after we had been conned into paying 20baht to leave, I was tempted to accommodate myself on the pier and be a nuisance instead of be ripped off but after some quick thinking I thought that it's not even 50p and their money is worthless so I slipped the check out girl a 1000 baht note, winked and told her to keep the change. Then came the tiresome hassling from the hotel touts and taxi boats, I'm sick of them and have even started ignoring them, which i never thought I would do after my time working the streets of market research I decided ignoring someone is disgraceful, but I'm not on this island to be liked so I blanked everyone. Everyone seemed friendly and helpful, too helpful, they're definitely up to something and are probably going to try and nick my belongings just like every other person on this trip. Checking in at the white 2 we I was pleased to find a decent room for a change, I killed as many mosquitos as possible so they didnt eat me in the course of Mu sleep.
During the night we watched some Italian football then went for team eats, had a betting man had the menu and placed a million pound on the meals for each of us he probably would have returned £1,000,001 including his stake, I had cheese and tomato pizza, Jon had fish and chips, Max had sandwich and chips, there really was no surprises, except the waiter/waitress was too flirty and the Pakistani waiter who delivered my coke insisted on opening it for me, then thanking me for the pleasure. After that we went to a typical bar and saw 2 Australian girls we had met in Koh Phangan, we made small talk and then went to the beach, one of the girls was in possession of our room key so typically she went missing, Jon panicked, i said don't worry she will turn up, much like a hungry cat girl always turn up at some stage. Needless to say she did turn up with our key and I was once again proved right, it was irrelevant Jon had found her as he had only served to prove me right. We enjoyed a night on the beach and engaged in conversation with random people, mainly European, Jon became angry/bitter at me for a while then got over it. me and Jon then head back for some sleep as we hadn't had any since 5am the previous day...Max on the other hand was no where to be seen....
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